Manifesto
You’re not broken.
No matter what you went through, no matter who hurt you, no matter how much it seems like the cards have been stacked against you–I need you to know this important thing: you’re not broken.
You were born worthy and you will die worthy and there is nothing that happens in the middle that ever changes that.
You can take a dollar bill and crumple it up and step on it and guess what? It’s still worth $1.
But you are worth so much more than a dollar. You are a literal miracle walking the earth. You beat incredible odds to be born as you, in this current age. The odds of you being here are 1 in 400 trillion.
Trillion!
Life can be difficult. The world is scary. Capitalism sucks. So what’s the point?
But the point is that be being here, you’ve already won.
The point is to live through the highs and the inevitable lows and still love yourself at the end of it.
In fact, I think loving yourself no matter what happened is the big cosmic spiritual game you were sent here to play.
And furthermore, I’m drawn to healing work because it helps us through this difficult riddle of being human.
Healing just brings you back to the real authentic you: the you that’s there under the layers of pain, shame and programming.
My work asks the more important questions: who are you really? And who do you want to be? With those goals in mind, we can begin.
You (Probably) Need Some Emotional Education
Please don’t beat yourself up for feeling like a crazy person when it comes to your own emotions.
It’s no wonder at all that so many of us are like this. We’ve been taught to outsource our power since we were little kids!
One of the invisible jobs of a parent is to be model how to feel and express emotions.
But if you lived with a narcissistic, unpredictable, distant, strict, etc. parent then you missed out on this emotional education. (Hello most Baby Boomers!)
Obviously you can’t learn emotional regulation from someone who doesn’t know how to do it to themselves.
If you don’t understand your own emotions at times or if you continually come up against the same negative patterns in your life (ie. always getting dumped by the same kind of person) then perhaps it’s time take your emotional education into your own hands.
You simply cannot know what you haven’t been taught. And if you didn’t even have awareness that you were missing emotional education, then of course you’re not going to find it.
The good news is that because you’re here today, you’re already learning. As long as you commit to showing up for your own growth and inner peace, you will keep making strides towards a happier inner world.
Anything you can learn, you can unlearn.
One of the coolest things you don’t really need to know about is: neuroplasticity or the brain’s ability to change, even into adulthood.
We used to think this wasn’t possible. After all, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
But science has proven that you can–and that’s great news for all of us.
Remember, you many of your own thoughts and behaviors are learnt.
Your brain has done a great job of trying to protect you all this time. But in the process, it has also made a few mistakes.
Those coping mechanisms and limiting beliefs can in turn create even more problems for us as adults–and we don’t even realize where they originally came from.
The negative behavior patterns, feelings, and limiting beliefs that are holding you back can be changed.
You can take the deeper effects of old emotional pain and trauma and consciously transform them.
Instead of saying I’m this way because X happened to me, we can start to ask: who do I want to be right now? What do I want to feel and do and think that will support that?
The power is within you–and in fact, it always was! My job here is to simply help you see that.
You can’t change many things but you can always change how you think.
I know what it feels like to hope and pray that the world around you will change. I know what it’s like to be stuck in Victim Mindset. I know what it’s like to be in total resistance to reality! (“It isn’t fair!)
What’s even worse is that because we’ve convinced ourselves that we know what the problem is, it’s difficult to see anything else.
It’s easy to believe that if everyone and everything would just go our way then we could finally be happy.
So let me blow your mind and let you in on a little secret: you’ll never be able to change the world but you can always change your relationship to it.
This is where your power truly lies, 100% of the time. It’s your thoughts and the stories you create that affect how you feel–not the world around you.
You simply cannot be a victim and a hero at the same time.
When you let go of your ego’s need to be right about this, you can start to see your real power.
Toxic positivity is not the goal.
Are you worried that learning how to be happy will cause you to lose your edge? Maybe you’ve created a career or persona based on your pain. Maybe you don’t think you’d know who you are if you stopped drinking. Maybe you just really don’t think you can give up your victim story.
You will not lose your edge if you learn how to heal. Let me assure you that you will still be you, even after the healing work.
This work isn’t about becoming a Toxic Positivity Bimbo who wants people to take their “bad vibes” somewhere else and refuses to read the news–ever.
Yes, I will teach you how to control your thoughts and emotions. But sometimes you can still summon up that old pain and anger and channel it into something good. (In fact, I believe that’s exactly the goal of many of those painful emotions!)
It’s not about forgetting about all of that stuff. It’s about learning that you don’t have to be controlled by it.
Ultimately, healing is about improving your relationship with yourself. It’s about getting off the dizzying emotional rollercoaster and finding your own power in the world. It’s not about forgetting who you are or your values.
The imperfections and hardships of life will always happen. (That’s just human life!) But why not learn how to roll through them in a more productive way?
Life without toxic patterns and damaging beliefs is simply a lot easier.
And becoming your own BFF is a lot more fun that being your own (secret) worst enemy.
It’s time to take a chance on you, my friend.
Because sis–you’re worth it.