What Is Emotional Trauma? & How To Deal With It

We’ve all been through tough times, but some experiences leave a deeper mark. Emotional trauma is the response to a deeply disturbing or distressing event that overwhelms our ability to cope.

Trauma is more common than you might think. It’s a reaction to an event or situation that overwhelms your ability to cope. This could be a sudden event like a car accident or natural disaster, or something ongoing like abuse or emotional neglect.

Here’s the important thing: you’re not alone. Trauma is incredibly common, and there are ways to heal.

 

What is Emotional Trauma?

 

Trauma is an emotional response to an experience that makes you feel unsafe or helpless. It can be caused by physical events or by emotional experiences. The important thing to remember is that trauma is a very real experience, even if there isn’t a physical injury.

Unlike other emotional wounds, you can’t just “get over” your trauma. Trauma has more intense or lasting impact on your brain. Treatment for trauma helps your brain learn to feel safe again, despite the experiences you’ve been through.

This rewrite shortens the text, uses simpler language, and emphasizes the importance of getting help. It also clarifies that trauma can be emotional and doesn’t require a physical injury.

 

Where Does Emotional Trauma Come From?

 

Trauma can come from many experiences, some big and sudden, others ongoing and relentless.

Acute Trauma

These are single, shocking events that cause a lot of distress, like a car accident, natural disaster, or violent attack.

Complex Trauma

This refers to repeated or prolonged traumatic experiences, like childhood abuse, domestic violence, or living in a dangerous environment. These experiences can have a deeper impact because they can feel inescapable.

Secondary Trauma

Even witnessing or hearing about a traumatic event can take a toll on your mental health. This could be from news reports, social media, or being a helper like a firefighter or social worker.

Remember, trauma is a personal experience. What feels traumatic to one person may not be the same for another. Your ability to adapt to the situation in the moment plays a role as does you overall temperament. Two children raised in the same family might experience the same event differently: one experiencing trauma, and one bouncing back without issue. There’s simply no way to diagnose this from the outside. Trust your own experience above all else.

 

Symptoms Of Emotional Trauma

 

Wondering how do I know I have emotional trauma? Or how does a person with trauma behave? Trauma can affect everyone differently. There’s no one-size-fits-all experience. Some common signs of emotional trauma include:

• Intrusive thoughts or memories of the event
• Nightmares or flashbacks
• Avoidance of reminders of the event
• Difficulty sleeping or eating
• Physical health problems like headaches and body aches
• Feeling drained, tired, or exhausted
• Muscle tension

Emotional Symptoms

• Overwhelm
• Denial, numbness, or confusion
• Anger or fear
• Guilt or anxiety
• Depression or hopelessness
• Confusion or disorientation
• Negative thoughts about yourself or the world
• Struggle to concentrate or focus
• Hypervigilence (feeling constantly on edge)
• Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
• Changes in mood or behavior

 

Symptoms of C/PTSD

 

It’s important to know that trauma can sometimes lead to CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). If these experiences are significantly impacting your daily life for a month or longer, you may have C/PTSD.

• Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, or disturbing memories that replay the event
• Avoiding people, places, or things that trigger reminders of the trauma
• Feeling down, hopeless, or having negative thoughts about yourself or the world
• Feeling constantly on edge or hypervigilent
• Difficulty sleeping, being easily startled, feeling constantly on edge
• Intense emotions like sadness or anger
• Having difficulty controlling your emotions
• Feeling disconnected from yourself or others
• Having difficulty trusting people
• Feeling like you are worthless or hopeless
• Having difficulty maintaining healthy relationships
• Physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue

However, if your emotions are intense, it’s been a shorter time, or you don’t meet all the criteria for diagnosis, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help.

 

How To Heal From Emotional Trauma

 

Wondering how is emotional trauma treated or how to get out of emotional trauma?

If you’re struggling with emotional trauma, there are steps you can take to heal:

 

Start Journaling

Sometimes, after difficult experiences, it can be hard to know where to start. Journaling can be a safe space to explore your feelings at your own pace. If writing isn’t your thing, just taking some quiet time to sit with your emotions can be helpful.

Focus on acknowledging what comes up, even if it’s uncomfortable. You don’t have to force yourself to feel a certain way. Just allow the feeling to be there for a while, and notice how it might shift or change on its own.

Remember, healing from trauma isn’t about getting rid of emotions, but understanding them. It’s okay to have a range of feelings, including anger. New emotions might even surface, and that’s perfectly normal.

 

Share Your Truth

Shame and secrecy often go hand in hand with emotional trauma. We tend to blame ourselves for the things other people did to us, even as children.

There’s a ton of power in simply telling someone your story. If you haven’t yet done that (or are struggling with the burden of secrecy, try opening up to a therapist, counselor, trusted family member, or friend.

Take Care Of Your Mind & Body

Many times when we feel emotionally traumatized, we start to neglect our human basic needs. However, that just depletes our energy and makes it more difficult to deal with the emotional wound itself.

Even when it seems daunting, try to get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise regularly (even if it’s just simple stretching on your living room floor). These activities can help improve your overall well-being and resilience.

 

Seek Professional Help

If your trauma is recent or intense (and even if it isn’t), working with a therapist is always the best idea. A therapist can teach you coping skills and help you process your trauma in a safe and supportive environment.

Traditional talk therapy can play an important role here, especially if you’ve never done that with this emotional wound. However, I suggest taking a holistic approach to your self-healing journey. That means looking into other practices such as hypnosis, EFT tapping, and EMDR. Group therapy is another popular option.

Ready to work through your emotional pain with the help of a therapist? But can’t quite afford to pay the full price? Try out BetterHelp for convenient, affordable therapy you can start at home.

Here are some additional resources that you might find helpful:

• The National Center for PTSD
• The Jed Foundation
• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

If you or someone you know is struggling, please know that help is available. Don’t hesitate to reach out to one of the above resources! You don’t have to go through this alone.

 

Strengthen Your Nervous System

With emotional trauma, it’s extra important to not let your nervous system get stuck in a Fight, Flight or Freeze trauma response. Figure out what your go-to response style is and learn a few different exercises to help you through it. It’s also important to strengthen your vagus nerve in general, so consider adding some polyvagal exercises to your daily routine.

For more on polyvagal healing, check out our post here.

 

Move Your Body

Trauma lives in the body. Part of healing from trauma is letting your body release that trauma. You might want to work with a somatic experiencing professional to help you with this. Or you can do some shaking exercises to help you release this inner tension. (Check out YouTube for some free videos!)

Just moving your body in general is a huge boon to healing! I always like to point out that dancing vastly outperforms both SSRIs and talk therapy. (Note: please don’t stop with either of those if that’s what you’re already doing!) Consider what kind of movement feels good to you and try to do more of that.

Minimize Unhealthy Behaviors

It’s also natural for us to “run” from our emotions by developing unhealthy coping mechanisms like over-drinking, drugs, sex, or even shopping.

Instead of numbing out, aim to replace those unhealthy patterns with new healthy ones such as yoga, meditation, or journaling.

 

Take Breaks

Emotional healing can be downright exhausting. During this practice, you might find that you’re more tired than usual. Alternatively. you might have physical energy, but find you can’t concentrate.

Regular life also doesn’t stop just because we’re on a healing path. Sometimes the demands of your normal life might make it difficult to focus on yourself.

As always, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself breaks and don’t rush yourself to be perfect or “done”. Sometimes just laying around doing nothing at all is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Healing Beyond The Trauma

 

In my work as a coach and healer, my aim is to look at the overall effects of emotional trauma in your life.

Trauma is not just about going back and reliving that event. It’s also about seeing what kind of impact that experience had on your life.

Here’s a breakdown:

The Traumatic Event

The original mistake or ongoing circumstance that caused the trauma.

What caused your emotional trauma?

If you have multiple causes, do this exercise separately for each one.

The Limiting Belief

We all automatically create meaning in the world around us, especially when we experience something emotionally painful.

What did you make your event mean? What story did you create? (ie. “People like me can’t make money”, “There’s no point in trying”, “I’m not just good with money” etc.)

The Protective Pattern

Finally, we have the behavior or protective pattern caused by the trauma. For example, maybe you grew up in poverty. You developed the belief that you had to work really hard to survive. And now, even though you have savings and a good job, you still find yourself stressing over money and refusing to spend it.

The protective pattern is the behavior caused by your limiting belief. Since you work hard for money but still feel insecure with it, you’re still trying to create a “wall” of money around you to protect you.

In turn, this coping mechanism or pattern also causes its own set of problems. Perhaps you have disagreements with your partner over spending because you won’t let yourself spend on anything “frivolous”. That’s causes strife in your partnership.

What pattern do you have around money (when you think about this core issue and limiting belief)?

Now you can see how one original trauma event can still be impacting your life today! You might not think your marital issues have anything to do with your past. But many times, our past is not nearly as far away as you think.

Noticing your particular pattern is a huge first step forward. But now it’s up to you. We can’t go back and change the original event. But we can change the pattern in our mind and behavior.

• Ask yourself: what would be a new supportive belief I could replace this with?
• What can I do to change my old pattern of behavior?

Please note that this is not intended to replace therapy but rather, to work along side it!

 

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So what did you think? Do you struggle with emotional trauma? What is your plan for healing as you move forward?

 

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Final Thoughts On Healing Your Emotional Trauma

Recovery and emotional healing takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. Many survivors find that reaching out for help allows them to process the trauma, develop coping skills, and rebuild their lives. You can find your strength again, build healthy relationships, and discover hope for the future.

 

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