20 Signs Of An Anxious Attachment Style

Wondering if you have an anxious attachment style? Here are 20 signs of anxious attachment to look out for!

What Are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles are psychological patterns that describe how we form and maintain emotional bonds with others, particularly romantic partners. These styles are believed to be rooted in our early childhood experiences, especially our interactions with our primary caregivers.

There are four main attachment styles:

Secure Attachment

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and closeness. They trust their partners to be reliable and supportive, and they are comfortable expressing their own needs and emotions.

Anxious Attachment (Preoccupied)

Individuals with an anxious attachment style often crave intimacy but have a hard time trusting others. They might be worried about abandonment or rejection, and they might constantly seek reassurance from their partners.

Avoidant Attachment

People with an avoidant attachment style tend to be uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness. They might prioritize independence and self-reliance, and they might downplay their emotional needs.

Disorganized Attachment (Fearful-Avoidant)

This attachment style is characterized by a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors. People with this style might crave intimacy but fear getting too close. They might have a history of inconsistent or neglectful caregiving.

What is Anxious Attachment?

Anxious attachment can cause stress and instability in relationships. People with this style often struggle to feel secure and may experience:

Fear of abandonment – A constant worry about being left or rejected.

Need for reassurance – Frequent requests for validation and confirmation of love.

Emotional highs and lows – Mood swings based on the perceived state of the relationship.

Sensitivity to cues – Hyperawareness of changes in a partner’s behavior or communication.

Difficulty with separation – Anxiety when apart from a partner.

20 Signs of Anxious Attachment

Feeling unsafe and reliant on external validation.
Mood shifts based on a partner’s actions.
Constant need for reassurance and validation.
Difficulty handling rejection or criticism.
Dislike of silence and craving for external comfort.
Hyper-awareness of partner’s emotional cues.
Anxiety or distress when separated from your partner.
Difficulty trusting others’ intentions.
Overthinking and analyzing relationship dynamics.
Anxiety when your partner needs space.
Excessive worry about the relationship’s future.
Craving physical closeness and contact for comfort.
Struggling with emotional regulation during conflicts.
Overreacting to perceived threats in the relationship.
Feeling clingy or dependent on your partner.
Experiencing intense jealousy or possessiveness.
Constantly seeking your partner’s attention and approval.
Suppressing your own emotions to avoid conflict.
Difficulty focusing on other aspects of life when in love.
Feeling rejected or unloved when your partner is busy.

So what did you think? Do you recognize any of these signs of anxious attachment? What’s your next step for creating a secure attachment instead?

Want more?

Check out our guide to healing anxious attachment here or tips to create secure attachment here.

Ready to work through your anxious attachment with the help of a therapist? But can’t quite afford to pay the full price? Try out BetterHelp for convenient, affordable therapy you can start at home.

Healing from Anxious Attachment

If you recognize these signs, you’re not alone. This article is a first step toward understanding yourself and building more secure attachments. There are resources available to help you on your journey to healthier relationships.